i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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