We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
