frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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