dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
