I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I deserve to be covered in dicks
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