..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
