First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
