he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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