I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
