Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
