Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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