also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
