dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
