He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
