My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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