please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
