Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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