Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
