I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
