Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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