this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
