she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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