He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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