can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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