His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
