He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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