Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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