Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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