I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
