Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
