I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
