when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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