just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
