it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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