i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
