maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
