You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
