Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
