The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
