Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
