All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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