Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
