actually, I'm a sock model
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
wanna go halves on a baby?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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