I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's the barista slut.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
