her vagine was all disorganized.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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