i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What a fucking waste of an outfit
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
