i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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