It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
