she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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