i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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